Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Pic Quote: Soulmate Attraction: Go & Do Good for You

One of the best ways to meet people who are good for you and who you are happy being with is by going to places that are good for you and that you are happy being in, and by doing things that are good for you and that you are happy doing.

Cassendre Xavier
Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us

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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Pic Quote: Dig Life, Be Diggable + CD "Hope" at CD Baby now!

SOULMATE ATTRACTION
The more you get into what you dig, the more people will dig and get into you.

Cassendre Xavier
renaissance negresse

P.S. My new CD "Hope" is now at CD Baby! http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre in addition to Bandcamp! http://cassendrexavier.bandcamp.com

Monday, March 2, 2015

10 Things You Didn't Know About My Sex Life

*******MATURE CONTENT******ADULT CONTENT*******

Dear Sexy People,

Here are a few factoids about Amrita Waterfalls, the sexy side of Cassendre Xavier, that has until now not been made public. These will, of course, be written about further, in bound and unbound items formerly known as "books":

1) I don't use the words "sex" and "intimacy" the way most people do. I use "sex" to mean any kind of erotic or genital contact or sexplay, "intimacy" to mean emotional intimacy, and "PVI" to refer to penile-vaginal intercourse. I don't even use just the word "intercourse" since it could mean digital-anal, digital-vaginal, or penila-anal intercourse. 

2) I didn't have PVI until I was 33, and then it was 10 years before I did it again.

3) Singing is often a sexual experience for me. Sometimes singing is so much like lovemaking to me I feel very shy doing certain songs in front of certain people.

4) No matter how much I like my partner, I prefer to sleep alone. That doesn't mean I don't like to fall asleep with them and cuddle early in the morning, but in general when it comes to real sleep, I like my bed real empty.

5) I feel I have a mission to do certain things sexually and that doing these things add more love, light, peace, serenity, and wholeness to the world. Not to mention pleasure. One example is sending nurturing energy through my breasts when I'm with a partner. 

7) I strongly believe testicles are among the most neglected things in the world and I'm on a mission to rectify the sitcheeation. No man I've ever been serious with has been neglected in this area. In fact, if you have yourself a set of balls, imagine I'm sending a warm pink glow of love to them right now. And give them a nice squeeze for yourself.

8) I am ambiguous about my sexual orientation. Technically I am what is called "bi-straight", meaning I mostly am involved romantically and sexually with men, but that I am also sexually attracted to wimmin. Strongly believing in the importance of queer/gay/lesbian visibility, especially in communities of color (as I like to say "Wanda Sykes is not enough!"), I come out as Lesbian wherever possible. I have been a longtime subscriber and contributor to Lesbian Connection, even though I also sleep with men. Many of the wimmin who are eulogized there after their passing have loved and had children with men. It doesn't matter who you go to bed with - it does matter that you come out, if you can, to ease the burden on those who aren't yet comfortable with their sexuality, and also help make major changes in worldwide government legislation for civil rights for all. 

9) I sent my first love letter when I was 4 years old. (I learned to read and write at age 3.)

10) I love having my period. I'm just crazy bananas about the whole deal. I even wrote a song about it, with a little help from Willie Nelson: http://tinyurl.com/OntheRagAgain


So. There ya have it.

Have fun, have orgasms. They're good for you. ;-)

With pleasure,

~Amrita Waterfalls
The Sexy Side of Cassendre Xavier


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(c) Copyright 2015 by Cassendre Xavier (writing as Amrita Waterfalls). All rights reserved. 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Why Masturbation Helps You Choose Better Lovers

Dear Sexy People,

In my new Wisdom Magazine article "Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us: Supplying Your Own Needs" (http://wisdom-magazine.com/Article.aspx/3920), I include the importance of self-pleasuring to keep you satisfied and your vision and judgement clear enough to come (pun intended) from a place of abundance rather than lack, and joyful anticipation rather than need.
 The key is to feel "I would love...(to be with someone, etc.)" rather than "I need" or "I wish I could have...". When you are taking care of your own sexual needs, you are in the best, ahem, "position", to choose wisely your best mates. You can take your time and make lists of your ideal mate/s' qualities. You won't get complacent and settle for incompatible or inappropriate partners. When you allow someone else to be your primary source of orgasms or sexual pleasure, you give your power away, including your power to choose and be picky. 
 And when you give your power away, not only do you make yourself less attractive to those who would give you much pleasure and less stress and heartache, but you also attract like energy - settling energy - people who will affirm your belief that this is all that is immediately available to you - someone who can provide a few seconds of pleasure for you, but not more than that and not without giving you an ulcer, or distracting you from being your best.
 Look to the San Diego pod, led in part by Kamala Devi and her poly spouse Michael McClure, who ever year produce the wonderful "Polypalooza", teaching high level relationship, communication, and other self-actualization skills. You can learn more about them and their work at http://kamaladevi.com
 The reason I mentioned them is because I attended Julio Cortes's workshop on how to date non-poly if you're poly, which happened right after my own workshop, in the same room, at the 10th Annual Poly Living Conference - Philadelphia (Feb 20-22), and he gave a major plug to the San Diego pod. He said their relationship sophistication is on "scientific level" and what most piqued my interest was this idea that being very careful about choosing your lovers should be the most important thing in your dating life.
 This intrigued me because we are often so lax about choosing. As long as the persun isn't a serial killer sometimes seems to be enough, especially if you have a busy stressful life and aren't looking for a serious commitment, just regular pleasure and occasional companionship. 
 I really appreciated hearing this and it has completely shifted my perspective on dating, even on a casual basis. I am now taking the time to think about what I really want and I feel a shift in my energy field, because it is now making the space to receive that.
 One of the greatest ways to empower yourself as a lover, regardless of your relationship status, is to be interdependently self-contained. This means having as many of your own most essential needs met while still being humyn and vulnerable and imperfect enough to need others. After all, we are meant to need each other.
 And one of the best ways to be more self-contained is to be your own best primary partner. Ironically, being so complete, in a loving and inclusive way, will also make you most attractive to your ideal mates.
Also, when you are having regular orgasms that you give yourself (or if you choose to self-pleasure and not orgasm - a spiritual form of celibacy that is very spiritually potent - I did this for months in the early 2000s, and it significantly sharpened my psychic senses), you glow as if you are with child or have been high raw vegan for weeks - which of course is also very attractive!
 Take care of your own most essential needs, including sexual, and you'll find your life turning around in miraculous ways, in and out of the bedroom. (And for much more wonderful info on the self-empowering and other benefits of "selfloving", as coined by the "Mother of Masturbation" herself, Betty Dodson, visit her and her collaborator Carlin Ross's website http://dodsonandross.com). L'chaim!

You can view my "Soulmate Attraction" series and my other personal growth article archives at http://wisdom-magazine.com/ArticleArchives.aspx?author=Cassendre+Xavier or (http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom for short)!

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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com