Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Don’t Tease Me

One of the biggest and great things about the BDSM lifestyle is how much you can learn about yourself in it. Something about it being such a concentrated experience of pleasure and exploration makes your truest self almost have to rise to the surface, whether you think you're controlling it or not. You can discover things about yourself you had no idea was in there, and you can also find out you have a larger capacity for pleasure than you thought you did. (Or capacity for pain, for that matter!)
 Recently I found out something about myself: I hate being teased. I really don't like it.
 I never had to deal with too much of it because I'm so demanding sexually (and it took me til I was 46 to find out I was sexually Dominant!), that I simply haven't allowed a partner to continue doing whatever he's doing to slow down my buzz. The only slight exception is my late partner TT, who I now realize was my Daddy. I was more submissive with and/or giving to him because of his caretaking nature. I also allowed him to delay my orgasms because I knew he enjoyed pleasuring me so much, and I didn't want to deny him that. When someone gives you a lot (in this case, comfort, semi-security (no such thing as security outright), and pleasure, you tend to want to give them a lot in return.
 But other than that, I hate being teased. I hate it. I don't know why. I think it's maybe just my impatience, or the fact that when I'm receiving sexual pleasure, I just want to keep receiving it. Ohhhh! I just had a breakthrough!!!! I want to control when I cum!

When I am receiving pleasure (and by the way, I'm a multi-orgasmic squirter whose primary sex is receiving oral for hours. I'm a pillow Queen, not princess, and can go on for several hours, with breaks for rest or food), I choose how fast, slow, or medium my arousal is. I can either get off within 20 minutes of receiving oral, then take a break and do it again in the next couple of hours - this time taking longer. Or I can go slow from the very beginning. I know how to slow it down - I simply switch up the action. I might stop the cunnilingus and flip over for rimming. That will calm down and soften my clit a little bit. Similar to the guy's version of calming his erection to give his partner more prolonged pleasure. Men think of baseball - I flip onto my tummy for my partner to lick my asshole.
 Or, I may start to rub my inner thighs on the sides of his face, or as I do with My slave 2, run my toes through his hair, or otherwise involve my legs and feet…This prolongs the play and slows me down so I don't cum more quickly than I want to.
 I may present my armpits for my partner to lick, sniff and kiss. With the right guy I may busy myself pleasuring the both of us with his cock in my mouth.
 All of these and more are some ways I choose to slow down my arousal and prolong my orgasm until I'm good and ready for it.
 And that's the diff and the rub: I am choosing it. My choice. Me.
 That's why it doesn't feel like teasing. I'm controlling it. So it feels good.
I think it's an extension and expression of My Natural Dominance that I have only in the last year or so discovered I also have in the bedroom (who knew?!). I don't like being teased because it takes away my tendency to want to control how I experience sex. I know how I want to feel, what I want to feel, for how long I want to feel it.
 A partner is free to improvise so long as it doesn't affect my control of the pace of my arousal. Since my partner doesn't know what that is, it's best for me to lead it. And that can't happen if there's obvious, prolonged teasing going on.
 I'm not talking about when My slave 2 goes down on me in what he and I call "Zen" style, and is enjoying himself so much I actually start experiencing it as teasing. That's not teasing. I'm talking about a lover on purpose licking and sucking my nipples, running his fingers up and down my arms, and doing everything he possibly can to prolong the main event, which is planting his fucking mouth where it belongs - clamped right over my pussy! That's where it should be, so any delay is completely unacceptable!

I'm not saying I want a hello, handshake, and then lips wrapped around my clit. I'm saying I want to get in bed, do some full body contact, then have my body stroked a bit, nipples sucked, then kissed from there to the main event, and then it's on. That's the script, Daddy O! I'll take it from there!

I realized another kind of teasing I dislike: Flirtatious and flattering comments from men who are either too far away to meet OFFline, and also from men who are not available to otherwise ("taken" as the non-polyamorous say).
 When I start getting really nice comments on my pics, videos and writings, I pay attention and go to their profile. If they're far ass away, I'm all disappointed. If they're not available, again - bummed.
 I think I know why I do this. It's something else I learned about myself through BDSM recently:
 I'm a creator. That means I make things happen. I don't just sit on the sidelines and hope and wait and wish and then hope and wait again.
 I think a lot of people on xhamster and FetLife like to just talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.
 I like to write and fuck and make beauty and write and make music and make love and write and enjoy life and work and sleep and eat and make love and enjoy orgasms and write and write and write some more. And by writing I don't mean comments on people's profiles and other content.
 I mean writing here, there, and everywhere other eyes can read my words and be positively stimulated, hopefully titillated, and definitely inspired.
 I aim to uplift, from the heart and soul to the mind and gonads. Uplifting can be an erection, of penile, clitoral, or nipple tissue. It's all the same.

I still welcome positive comments from far away admirers. Just letting you know how I feel about the situation and that I don't like to be teased :)

So, that's why I don't engage in messaging, cam, chat, kik, or skype. Because there's such a thing as Craiglist and FetLife, where I can meet people in real life to enjoy the way people far away and otherwise unavailable comment that they wish they could.

Cruel, and beautiful life. Perfect setting for the kinkster! 😋

© 2016 by Amrita Waterfalls (aka Endowed Goddess). All rights reserved.

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