Tuesday, April 19, 2016

When You Love a Thing

Dear Amrita Waterfalls Readers!

It just occurred to me that I don't have to wait until I've had a formal essay or diary entry completed, or have prepared a book excerpt to post here - that perhaps it might be a good idea to just say hello from time to time. I check this account several times a day and there's no sign of that except the tiny bit of occasional correspondence I do.

Remember, my favorite mode of contact is through commenting on my wall. And my favorite way to hear from you, my audience, is from comments on my content here (pics, writings, videos).

Please don't be offended if I don't use this site as many others do. I have a very busy schedule and spend most of my energy on that and on my personal and professional relationships.

However, that includes that which I have with my readership and also my musical listening audience (I'll include relevant links at the end of this message...)

So, let's see... What do I want to say today?

I think when you love something, you have more patience with it than you would with anything else, and you fight and push and struggle sometimes with it, whereas with something else, you would've thrown in the towel long ago.

I think this is how I feel about xhamster and FetLife - to whom I am addressing (as well as sending a copy to my erotic blog: http://amritawaterfalls.blogspot.com).

I have so much going on in my life right now - so much. I am working on some serious goals, and making progress all the time, and I deal with a pretty severe mood disorder plus trauma aftereffects that make every day life pretty darn challenging. Just being around people is a major pain in mine arsal reggiones these days, and because of how my life is structured right now, I'm around a lot of people every. Single. Day.  I hate it.

This is why I so love my solitude, and the few hours a week or month I get to spend with a lover, playmate, and/or erotic friend. These days it's even a challenge to see friends, and as far as seeing family of origin goes, well, that takes months to gear up for!

Anyway, when I'm going through a rough time emotionally, there's very little outside of my day to day obligations I have the energy or interest for. But there's always room, time, and energy to write - always. Music is my art and my work but writing is my medicine, my craft, and my joy. I feel like Barbra Streisand, who has always felt like an actress who sings, but whom the world has always seen as a singer who acts. I feel like a writer who's seen as a singer, and who feels she "should" be a successful one - whatever that means.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah, sex ;)

I go to xhamster and FetLife no matter how I feel emotionally.

But what's been bumming me out and bringing me down is the little things that make it not fun sometimes - the messages when I've asked for only comments - and requested NO messages. The friend invites from people with cock pics as their avatars. I had to finally decided and post in my profile that I'm no longer accepting friend requests from those. I don't want to see cock pics at all, let alone all the time and on my own beautiful profile.

I'm highly annoyed by messages from 20-somethings who want to cam and chat and correspond and kik and skype, ALL of which I say on my profile that I DON'T do.

So today I realized I really want to be on xhamster and FetLife. I know this because normally I'd be gone! But I want to stay and tweak my profile to minimize these occurrences.

I also can see that I want to be at both sites because I was able to immediately recognize that:

  1. Messages have reduced significantly since I updated my profile requesting comments only and NO messages. So some people ARE reading, paying attention, and honoring my request!

  2. I don't feel overwhelmed when I think about the prospect of revising my profile as needed. I feel calm and somewhat excited about it. That's a good sign!

  3. I don't see an end in sight insofar as my work of this sort goes. I'm here to work on sexual writing (erotica, pornography, sexuality, all with feminist and spiritual sensibilities and with special focus on various other issues including recovery from abuse/addiction; sobriety, eating disorders, mental health issues such as bipolar disorder and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, recovery from religious oppression and homophobia - all issues I have dealt with and continue to deal with…), and I am so happy and eager to have and use these two venues at this time. If at such a time others present themselves as better venues for my writing, I will switch to them, but for now, I'm putting my energies into using the forums of xhamster, FetLife, and blogspot for my sexual writing.

That said, I hope you're enjoying your sex life!

Remember that an orgasm a day keeps the doctors away, and a smile for everyone, helps everyone!

Play safe and thanks for listening ;)

Oh, here's the music stuff I promised ya :)

Remember, you can always hear my music online at CD Baby: http://www.cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

And you can also hear them, plus my spoken word guided meditations at Bandcamp: http://cassendrexavier.bandcamp.com

If you have a Spotify account (downloads there are 90% of my musical download income!), you can find my music here: http://bit.ly/1qD2fdY (Source: https://play.spotify.com/artist/4RMYa6grnyPucTtytI8JI6?play=true&utm_source=open.spotify.com&utm_medium=open)

Everything else, including my blogs, both erotic and non, can be found at my official website http://cassendrexavier.com

NOW, I'll say g'night, and thanks for your continued support of my art/work, and therefore, life,

Amrita Waterfalls aka Endowed Goddess

© 2016 by Amrita Waterfalls (aka Cassendre Xavier). All rights reserved.

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