Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Kitchen Masturbation: Service Top Fantasy

I like to gestate erotic connection between dates or sessions with my subs.

I will be meeting one in the next few weeks, and I haven't scheduled it yet, but already it is feeling very good to us where it counts. We text every day and he is super super sweet.

I've also been spending time on Fet and getting quite aroused by what I see - all these hot people who are freaks like me and so very sexy and smart, funny, and often wise. Seeing so many people who are my physical type and playing the way I play is such a turn on...

I was about to leave for my day's appointments and errands, but couldn't in my state. I had to relieve my sexual tension, but I couldn't use the bed because my nesting partner was in there napping. I thought of using the living room but his adult daughter could arrive from her errands.

I considered using the basement but it was too dark and uncomfortable.

So, I opted for the kitchen.

I removed from the cabinet a little saucer, and went into the cabinet above the stove for my EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) to use as lube.

I poured a little of the oil onto the saucer.

I closed the curtains and blinds in the kitchen and dinette area, and went to lean against the counter where the dishwasher was.

Standing I undid my cuffed denim short-shorts, and pulled them and my black lace pantied down only far enough to reach my left hand in under them. But first, I dipped my fingers into the oil.

Dipping and rubbing, I spread my hairy pussy lips to find my clit and began to rub. I kept rubbing and circling and rubbing and first had a fantasy about a sweetie I do have a date with soon... next week in fact. He had just written me that answering my question of how he wanted to spend our date, go out, go to a movie, museum, dinner, etc. - thinking about it gave him an erection, so he knew he wanted to have sex first when we meet, and then go out... Recalling the times recently he has told me things like that - how he physically responds to my words, made me wet and I mixed that in with the oil as I rubbed a little harder and faster...

I had more fond memories of him and how much I enjoy his passion and sensuality when we are in bed together- he fully envelopes my body with these arms that don't look freakishly long when we're out of bed but somehow seem to wrap all around and over my large brown body.

Soon I was breathing harder and harder, and I had another fantasy about my trainee that inspired my writing "Boyfriend-Girlfriend Fantasy" recently.

This time I recalled seeing a Fet profile of a man I found attractive, who described himself as a "service" top.

I loved that concept! I fantasized about making my submissive seduce and take me passionately when we meet next... Not even letting me get to the bed - just kissing and then pulling my pants down at the hotel room's kitchen counter, and going down on me on his knees while I stand. I came this way, not worrying about making little gaspy and yipping sounds, knowing that my partner sleeps and snores loudly and would not likely be awakened, and if he did hear me cum, he'd enjoy it.

I put the dish of oil, from which I had been periodically dipipng, into the sink, pulled my pants up, and went upstairs to get ready to go out. I laughed a couple of times, and felt the erotic and healthful aftereffects of my orgasm for over an hour.

During my errands I texted my trainee that I had just masturbated to thoughts of him, and later I emailed my date to let him know he was in my mind during the first half of it. I enjoy being attentive to my play/partners and sweeties. They return the attention with a great deal of ability in pleasuring me.

From the FetLife BDSM Glossary:

[service Top (see Top): A Top whose focus is on giving a bottom what s/he desires.]

Lime Armpit Lick

One of my scent fetishes is armpits (not just any I'm picky!) and one day during sex with my late partner I went downstairs and got a thick slice of lime, which I then returned with and squeezed on his deliciously fragrant armpit/ After that I licked it and we both really got into it!
 Highly recommened even if you aren't a major lime lover like me!

Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.wordpress.com

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Reincarnation and physical/kink/karmic attraction


The following will be pretty esoteric and may sound odd to many but not to New Age/lightworker/spiritual practitioner/professional or similar folks who have done past life regression, spiritual mediumship, etc. Please read with a very open mind, which as a kinkster ought to come more easily for you than most, heh-heh!]

Hi, folks!

I've been thinking a lot lately that reincarnation (which I believe in) could explain a lot about our attraction to certain physical features in people, or kinky behaviors in our sex lives. I have done this work and I know why I am so attracted to certain physical features in, and cultures of people.

I love being a Black Womon, and would come back in this body for whatever reasons my soul chose to return for further evolution.

But I do know I feel a very strong connection with people of certain physical features and cultural backgrounds.

Thoughts? (And be nice if sharing, please, thanks!)

#1 Do you believe in reincarnation?

#2 Have you done past life regression? (Self-study included, with guided meditation recording, through a spiritual medium, etc. I did mine with Doreen Virtue's Past Life Regression recording [here][https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2/139-0444995-0550120?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=doreen+virtue+past+life]. She's my primary angel teacher and mentor of many years. Prior to that I had read books on discoviring your past lives and did a lot of meditations and writings on them - a largely self-discovery path).

#3 Have you ever thought about why you are attracted to certain people or kinky activities?

#4 Have you explored the karmic implications or possibilities in your relationships or attractions, insofar as reincarnation goes?

I look forward to hearing from you, and please post here rather than message me privately, if you can. But if you absolutely must message me about this, I will write back, but only if you're nice, and if you can't be nice then at least be submissive :)

Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.wordpress.com

I am here for Love

I joined FetLife to give more love to the world

and to let my love be visible to those

who would enjoy, honor, and cherish it

Whether as fans of my music, or my writing

Or my big fat beautiful

black glossy tasty CLIT!

That is my greatest sexual endowment

hence my name

I am here for love

To celebrate my love of writing

To enjoy community

To build and build and build

However I can

To meet folks for pleasure

to connect

to heal myself and to support

others on their own path of healing

and self-empowerment


and magick

I am here for love

Love of sex, love of pleasure

Casual sex

is not casual

for me

I have met several

significant partners

Lifelong connections

By meeting for the sole purpose

Of giving me orgasms

The ways and only the ways I wish

Our common goal brought us together

And mutual interests and natural compatibility

Kept us there

I am not here for sex

I can get that anywhere

Just walking down the street

It is offered to most wimmin

And especially those with a vibe

Like mine

A vibe of enjoyment

of life and of living

People feel that shit

and they wanna get close to it

If I wanted sex I would go elsewhere

and that's what I did in the past

That's how I found my significant partners then

Now I find them here

Because I am here for love

I am here for love

I attract it

That means I also must spend time repelling

That which is not love

But attraction of others to the light

which my love and interst in expressing joy


If you like my pics and stuff

I am flattered

But make no mistake, that is not enough

That isn't why I am here

I'm not here to hook up with

people who are not my match

I'm not here just to do sexual THINGS

I am not here for the physical

application of kink alone

I am here to connect with like-minded partners

friends, playmates, submissives

To access and express my natural dominance

To be more of myself

I am here to connect with myself

To express my love of writing

and to work on my goals with the support

of other kinksters

while supporting them in theirs

And when this happens

in addition to natural sexual attraction

that is mutual

THEN the fireworks happen

And not a moment before

Because I

I am here for love.

Friday, August 11, 2017

Confession: Female Crotch Sniffing Curiosity

I'm a very kinky bunny and I'm here to write, so if not here, where? I feel a little self-conscious sharing this, but I am also glad to finally get it out!
So, yesterday I was walking around on my errands, taking public transportation, etc., and I all of a sudden noticed that I had looked at maybe the third female crotch and wondered what it might smell like. That's perhaps not so unusual except I suddenly not only remembered that I have always been like this, even as a wee lass of perhaps 12 or 13 I occasionally would wonder what a woman's crotch smelled like, and did it smell like mine. 
 Years later, in my early 20s I would discover for the first time, or at least come close to it / I was clothes shopping in a mall with my best female friend (platonic), a pretty, heavyset black girl in her early 20s like me, and we were in one stall together/ She had just removed her pants to try on another pair, and I detected a change in temperature of the room - it was slightly warmer/ And I noted a slightly musky, not unpleasant but not sweet fragrance/ 
 There is something about the intimacy, I think, that I find attractive in the act of smelling a(nother) woman's crotch, and might I add I have never done this directly, intentionally, nor do I seek to/ I merely have a curiosity, and I believe it's a healthy, totally understandable one - to be curious to know if someone else's body smells like yours/ Especially in this homophobic, puritanical society (USA)/ We are not accustomed to having others of our gender around us enough to know about their, and in turn, our bodies/ I feel even worse for guys/ They grew up with even less access to one another as boys developing into men/
 Being bisexual and very oral, I have enjoyed eating pussy and the soft feminine scents involved in that/ But it has been many years since I have gone down on a womon, and again, I am not seeking to, but who knows what may someday develop in my persunal life/
 I just know that a lot of times when I see a woman's crotch, I want to know what it smells like/
 In preparing to write this, I asked myself what it is - and I realized it's only when I find them attractive (if they are my type/s) and if they are wearing pants or slacks, never skirts. I think it's something to do with the tightness of the garment, and the crease where it separates the legs. It draws attention to the vagina, so of course the eye is drawn to that area! I'm pretty sure it isn't just me and perhaps this is why very strict or religious people consider women wearing slacks to be inappropriate, not just for the statement of male-associated power. Anyway, that's all. If anyone can relate or want to chime in, have at it, and thanks for reading!

Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.wordpress.com

Sunday, August 6, 2017


Last night on the couch

My nesting companion and I

were discussing a topic he loves

raunchy sex

and phrases I'd never heard of

Such as Dirty Sanchez

Roman Soldier's Helmet

and Blumpkin

At some point for some reason

Chickens came up

"They have only one place where they

piss, shit, and fuck" he said

"Yeah, I know" was my response

"The cloaca"

"Yeah!" he replied, somehwhat surprised

"How'd you know that?"

"Oh I dunno," I said

"I learned it in school

when I was a kid"

"But" I continued

"You know way more facts than I do"

And then I said,

"Maybe I know it because...

I'm into ass"

"Hm," he mused.

He mused because he knows.

I think

I have always been kinky

Had fantasies of being dragged out

of a cave

by my hair

by some strong man

When I was a little kid

Before age 8 even

Thought about

getting pissed on

When I was an adolescent

Kinky from the start

First time I got handcuffs

The keys turned me on so much

Just to look at them

They had a very special meaning to me

Even if I never used them

Cloaca has a nice sound to it

It seems like it does something


It is even somehow

and strangely


But it's only a hole

A skin tube made

for the passing of shit

and piss

and for fucking

For procreation god made this

And it was


by Cassendre Xavier (also writing as Endowed Goddess and Amrita Waterfalls). Please share ethically!

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.wordpress.com

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Boyfriend-Girlfriend Fantasy

For Lee

I had a fantasy about you today
This morning I masturbated twice
The second time I was strainin'
to cum, it just didn't happen
After fantasizing and remembering
past lovers that were particularly
able at producing
effects I enjoy having produced
in me
I thought of you

you were my warmest partner
of recent times
the most like
a boyfriend

So I imagined just that
That you were my boyfriend
Or rather, that I ordered you
to pretend that you were

I imagined that at our next meeting
The next time we get together
in a hotel room for pleasure and wet,
wet times
I imagine that I say this:

Pretend we are girlfriend and boyfriend
We have had a few dates
But we are both virgins
and don't want to go too far
We are really into each other
We have great chemistry
But there is care there
Great care
and sweetness

As I rubbed my wet pussy
wet from lube and pussy juice
and the spit from my furiously moving
I imagined us going
from heavy petting and clothed
to less and less clothing
Like teenagers
until we are kissing
(which I so rarely do with casual
sex partners)
and until we are necking

I am getting really hot now
as I rub myself this morning
Think about...

...now your mouth is gently moving
down and further down
you are at my breasts
you are touching them now
and I imagine you are going slowly
and more slowly down
to my belly
and it doesn't feel like teasing
but warming the way
a building up
that I am LOVING!

Then you are finally
where I want you to be
At my crowning place
you begin to sing into there
with your pleasure and intention
to bring me the most joy there
in my happiest sexual space

The care comes again
the mutual affection
and all your respect for me

I instruct you to look up
and as I touch myself this morning
imagining your eyes looking over my large
brown belly
and beautiful breasts
dark, dark nipples

you make it to my eyes
just as I climax

© Copyright 2017 by Cassendre Xavier (Endowed Goddess aka Amrita Waterfalls). All rights reserved.

Erotic blog: http://amritawaterfalls.blogspot.com
Music: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Yet another persun I need to block (7/31/17)

Something I posted on FetLife and xhamster:

One of my major pet peeves in life is receiving messages with infantile abbreviated textspeak. I am a writer and I am over the age of 40. I want full words, goddammit, if not sentences!
 Another major pet peeve is getting unwanted sexual attention from black men, because it triggers my sexual abuse issues and also because for various reasons including culture, young black men in particular seem extremely bold in their approaches to wimmin. I always feel as if they see me and all young or youngish black wimmin as their property. One of the reasons I am so comfortable with white men is they never do that. I don't even see that in white culture. Sure, a white guy may hit on a white womon, but it's not done on the predatory-collector scale I see it done by young black men.
 It's a complex issue and a controversial one to talk about but this is a safe place for me to air my views and feelings perhaps for the very first time.

Which brings me to today's edition of "Yet another persun I had to block!"

I just received this message:

"Hi hru :)"

The author's profile appeared as follows:

Profile pic: Selfie of bottom half of face, enough to see a light-skinned black man with a goatee. Conventionally good-looking, but triggering to me because he is black and also because he is way too darned young.

More pics: None.

Orientation, relationship status, or D/s status info: None.

Very few friends. Following about 30 people. Commented on some pics, including, "I can be ur daddy!" which is far from the submissive demeanor I am compatible with.

I see he is really not interested in the English language, and I respond:

"I appreciate positive attention but as my profile states ("Interracial Only") the only kind of men I date are over 40 (usually and preferably in their 50s) and white.
I strongly recommend you read people's profiles going forward, as this is a community and many of us put a lot of time, care, and effort into creating our profiles to reflect most accurately who we are and what kind of partners we intend to attract.
It is disrespectful to ignore our efforts and barrel forth carelessly and selfishly.
It would be wise to be on the lookout for this going forward, and approach people who would be much more compatible with you.
Best wishes."

Thanks for letting me share and vent!

And for the record I do enjoy me a black man... When I'm watching him sexually annihilate a white womon who is loving every minute of it! (Is that wrong? Rhetorical question, Ha!!!)


P.S. And I know a lot more of you will enjoy and/or relate to this than you may feel comfortable acknowledging publicly. I can dig it. I grew up on Howard Stern and like him I have few limits insofar as content goes. I am also very sensitive and intuitive. I know my work is appreciated whether the love is visible or not. I can feel it! 

Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.wordpress.com